Conscience
by Goldsaddletank
Summary: A dark outlook on Hero of the Rails. Spencer reflects on why he tried to have Hiro scrapped, and also his guilt at nearly murdering him. Rated T for stronger themes.


Author's Note: This is a short- ish oneshot entailing Spencer's feelings from Hero of the Rails, and contains a lot of references to the movie. This is rated T as it contains murderous feelings from Spencer.

I hope you enjoy this story! And apologies if Spencer is OOC- I'm not used to writing him, but I'm pretty pleased with this otherwise.

Disclaimer: I only own the Isle of the Sinful and Deighan. Everyone/thing else belongs to Awdry and Hit.

...

A pawn, a mere pawn….

Yes, he had been a mere pawn to that wretched Thomas' misery!

I had been humiliated…I was accused of stealing Percy's mail trucks by the Fat Controller! How dare he accuse me of such a ludicrous act? I had been _tortured_ by that puny foreign tank engine and that clumsy little crane! The racket they made- I don't ever want to go back there! I had been chased under a slate hopper by a dirty diesel, battered like a haddock and had my lovely silver paintwork ruined by slate in the process!

All because of Thomas' pathetic friend -that rattling old lump of iron was the reason I went through everything I did! I have been beaten, tortured, teased by tank engines and named a thief!

Well, I had decided to take down that bratty little king of the Farquhar- Elsbridge by capturing his pawn, and eliminating him- permanently.

Yes, I was determined to have him scrapped and allow myself the satisfaction of revenge upon my long time enemy.

….

They had failed. My plans had failed- the engine had survived- and to rub salt in a wound, to borrow expression from my driver, he was repaired and repainted, looking so unrecognisable I could scarcely believe that this princely engine was the same scrap pile on wheels I had chased down the line.

Even after everything I had attempted to do to this engine, he…he rescued me.

That engine- Hiro, his name was, as he had introduced himself to me- had actually rescued me from the swamp (after I had been left there for two or three days).

I had attempted to take his life to exact revenge upon Thomas for every ounce of humiliation and embarrassment I had suffered ….and he…he pulled me out.

He _must_ be a lunatic. There is no other plausible explanation.

And yet, he was very kind to me after that incident, for he took me to the Steamworks for cleaning and minor repairs, and he told me a little about his homeland- a country called Japan, which is both very different and very far away from Sodor.

"I am sorry to hear of your accident, Spencer." He had told me earnestly, as he delivered me to the Steamworks. "I hope that you feel better soon. And I shall visit you, should Victor allow it." He then smiled kindly and sympathetically at me- my mud covered, block wheeled self, who had subsequently, as loath I am to admit it, could not look him in the eye.

 _Sorry._

He had said that to me- he was the only one who had ever said sorry to me for anything I have suffered during my stay on Sodor- and yet, the only one who is sorry is me!

I had wronged Hiro- that is as plain as day. He is actually a very gentle engine- not like my cousin Gordon in the slightest- though this queer foreign engine has softened both his heart and James'. They are not usually impressed by newcomers.

The Duke and Duchess like him too- in addition to being kind and quiet, he is very graceful and dignified- and surprisingly witty. I would never have suspected that of him.

He felt guilty for how he had been the reason why I had dawdled in my work, and was, against the odds, willing to help me finish the work I was supposed to have done long ago.

I was so surprised at this that I didn't even object when Thomas decided to continue helping to finish the construction of the new summer house. They make a team, those two- that cannot be denied. Hiro is strong, and Thomas is prompt.

The Japanese engine had continually offered me his friendship, and yet, out of disgust at my actions and unable to bear any reminders of my horrendous behaviour towards him, I continued to decline it. This happened for three days, and then he let the subject drop.

…

It is these actions above that have culminated to me, along with other steamies from Sodor, sentenced to imprisonment by a particularly sinister narrow gauge engine named…

Deighan, Judge of the Steam Engines, and Ruler of the Isle of the Sinful.


End file.
